I Woke Up From a Midday Coffee Crash Nap & Felt This Way

Fall into moonlight spotlight
With filmy eyes blurred. Vignetted vision
Pillowed sand under hands
And knees shifting to cradle knuckles and kneecaps.I crawl to a spot of comfort.
This tiny island of the seen
A mini tundra of sand marked only by tufts of bleached grass.
They spoil things
I pick them out
And pick
And pick until my hand finds rust and metal.
A cold rail and another, ever parallel
An old railway line breaching my little sanctum.
Starting on the edge of sight
Running straight and red through the dunes
I lie down to calm myself
Right ear to the floor, listening
To the cooling of the fine white sands
Evaporation of a memory of sunshine
Right eye closed, left peering out
At the vertical horizon
Searching for gaps in the softness, the safety.
Out in the dark
Over the tracks and down the bluff
Out in the distance lies the sea
I cannot hear it nor smell but it is there, present
A vast thing
But its vastness does not intrude here
Nothing intrudes here
My little bubble of sand
I don’t know if I have been here before or
If I have never left
The railway seems familiar.
Beyond sight there grows a pulsing
The sand begins to shift and scatter from the tracks.
Vibrations send waves of white to ripple by under my cheek.
I lift my head to see the waves meet
In places and crumble and combine again to throw out strange patterns.
Tidaling Geometry.
I think there is a house somewhere
Standing in the dark, warm and empty
I think of running there
Away from the sea and the sand and the tracks and their shaking.
I think a while.
Whatever is coming will not enter the moonlight
The still warm sand assures me
For all its shaking this place is stable
Nothing will change it
It will change nothing.
The thought makes me want to leave but I don’t.


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